August 19th, 2007

Time: 05:40 pm

I hate pressure or tension. I feel like that is mounting up in my household and one of us is going to explode any minute. I miss Europe and the carefree feeling that I had, but I had to face reality some day and come back to being an adult. I have a good life, I just hate those times where you feel stuck....maybe stuck is not the correct word usage. I miss Alfonso. Its hard to go through rough patches that come about in your life and have someone be there for you but not physically. Its so weird how much a hug from someone you love can make such a difference. I think I am frustrated at this whole long distance relationship thingy and I think I have been taking it out on the fam....maybe that is the cause of some of this tension. I hate not knowing what is going to happen. I am happy that I am going back to Europe in less than a month. That is one thing that I am holding on to right now.....Spain & Italy in 24 days. School starts tomorrow and I am glad that this will be my second to last semester and a college...its about freaking time. I hope I have a good semester. Its going to be long and hard, but I have things to look forward to. Good summer...good year so far. Good.

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July 29th, 2007

Time: 09:42 am Current Mood: happy

Going back to Spain in 45 days to see Alfonso. I miss him....and even my family misses him. Once I hit Spain we are going to the South of France....merci.

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January 10th, 2007

Current Music: Silencio Current Location: Mi Officina Subject: Time goes by so slowly for those who wait....no time to hesitate Time: 09:48 am Current Mood: excited

I only have 15 more days left....15 days!!!! Solamente tengo quince mas dias.....quince dias!!!! Taking everything and translating it into spanish.

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November 27th, 2006

Time: 10:16 pm Current Mood: hopeful

Thanksgiving was great this year. Being with family and friends all weekend was refreshing. The holidays are finally here which makes Spain even closer. I still can't believe I am going. Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving/four day weekend.

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November 12th, 2006

Current Music: Nawnu snoring. Subject: Was asleep woke up and now I can't go back to sleep Time: 11:37 pm Current Mood: confused

Have you ever felt like you were in a scene of a movie and you just can't get out of it?? That's how I feel like in my life right now. I more so feel like I am in a movie that I have partially written and other people have taken it upon themselves to take the pen and write their own parts in my movie. I don't know if that made any sense. I think it is strange how life is split up into categories such as school, work, friends, and family and when one is faltering it somehow causes a chain reaction in the other categories. It reminds me of my social problems class that I am taking. One of the theories of social problems occurring is the functionalist theory. Where if something is wrong in one of the categories listed (there are more categories obviously such as government and religion) then inevitably a social problem occurs. I guess I am going to have to agree with that. Its is hard for be to be excited/happy about Spain when I know that certain things are deteriorating slowly. I was watching Beaches the movie today and I have to say that movie definitely tops my list of favorite movies. I feel like I am in a movie and you know when there are these "signs" that just appear out of thin air pushing towards doing the right thing. I am not sure if I want to do the right thing, but then I think what if I didn't do the right thing and things change for good and I end up regretting it? I hate self-doubt. I leave for Spain in about two months and I am scared. Not scared of going but rather scared of returning. I am scared of changing while being there and coming back and having everything be different. I don't know. I think sometimes I need to stop asking myself so many questions and let things be....maybe things would be easier. The Holidays are coming and I am excited/sad....mixed emotions....crazy how much can happen in only one year...let me tell ya. Finally starting to fall asleep...yay! good night.

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October 25th, 2006

Time: 11:02 am

Its weird to know that things are different but nobody chooses to acknowledge it. Human beings are definitely complicated. I went to the most random party the other night and was rather shocked at the way that some people act, but like I learned in my human sexuality class and that is not to judge people's sexual behavior. Absolute craziness I tell ya. On a lighter note....I had my orientation for my new job at Williams Sonoma yesterday and I am rather excited. I am going to be working there for the holidays as a cashier/sales associate. Retail....something that I have never done before. We shall see how it goes. Leaving for Spain in exactly 3 months....uber excited!

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October 16th, 2006

Current Music: Sunday Morning- No Doubt Time: 09:34 pm Current Mood: sleepy

I am getting impatient with everything around me. I wish Spain was here. I want to leave....I want to go away. Although everything is going good with life....I want to leave. I have three months and I hope the next three months are the fastest three months of my life and the next after that will be the slowest ones. People dissapoint me when I least expect it. I get sad but I can't let it bother me...not now at least. Its so weird I have this torn feeling about "change." A part of me despises it and never wants it to happen and another part thinks that without change my life would be one continuous cycle and would have no excitement nor fun. It seems "change" is involved in our everyday lives which is a scary thought. No such thing as stability. I was driving home today from the gym and I was thinking about what I did for Halloween last year. It came in a flood of memories. I was living in Irvine and I think it was one of the closest moments that I shared with my friends. Just looking back its weird to think that we all may have been in compeletly different places in our lives than we are right now. Different....definitely. What do you get out of a 4am text message from someone who you have not talked to in almost a year? Please explain cause I can't understand that at all.

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October 6th, 2006

Time: 10:22 am Current Mood: happy

I love reading my journals from the archives.....reminds me of who I was and how far I have come to be the person that I am now. Loving it. Have a crazy weekend and do something completely random.

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September 13th, 2006

Time: 02:33 pm

Decision Decision Decisions.....seem to consume my life lately and I feel so blessed that I have these decisions to make. I have made one big decision which I am not sure if I am more excited for or scared. But just when I think I have finalized my thoughts on everything I start questioning myself again!! But I think I am just trying to scare myself. I know I have made this decision and I don't know where and what it will do to me. Come January 26th myself and fourteen other students will be moving to Salamanca, Spain to study abroad for three whole months. I don't know what to exactly think or say, but what I do know is that I am so excited and scared. More so scared than excited. I have 3-4 months to get every thing done. I know I will be in debt when I get back and jobless but I guess you have to sacrifice somethings in order to experience great things. I need to save.

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August 15th, 2006

Time: 01:36 pm

3rd annual Kiki's Cantina is coming tomorrow and I guess you could say that I am excited. I hope it will be fun and just happiness all the way around. The Theme is Beach Chic......yes everyone who is attending has to dress tropicali. Hopefully everything goes smoothly and people just have an all around good time. Fun Fun Fun.....

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August 4th, 2006

Time: 10:19 am Current Mood: Moody.....hmmmmm

Thinking Thinking Thinking.....something I hate to do. Its fascinating and annoying that our brains think about something which leads to something else which leads to something else and then you end up in this huge hole of thought and you don't even remember how you got there. I don't understand. I miss something, but I don't know what.....does that make sense at all? I don't know. I think I know what I miss but I don't want to admit it......there I go thinking again. It will be the death of me. The hole gets bigger as I think some more. I want to disconnect...say it all the time to myself and people around, but I wish I could. I am going to miss Meshell so much. She is my little oasis from it all. That girl always knows the right things to say to me. I love my best. Friday and the lovely weekend has decided to grace its presence upon me. Loving it and loving all my girls...who are all going to have fun whatever we may do this weekend.

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August 1st, 2006

Time: 11:19 am

Reading old live journals are hilarious. Just shows you how at times you go through these problems and you think it is somehow the end of the world and when you go back and ponder on them they were not so trivial at all. I have learned that in almost everything that happens to me personally in life it will either always go back to normal or things always get better. Its funny to see people stress over certain situations, I do it all the time and I have to stop and tell myself that things are bound to get better and they always do. So glad that I have come a long way and I am even happier that my old LJ have have given me a reminder of what I was like how things were in my life. I need to get drunk one night and go through each one and have one big night of laughing! e On a lighter note....Kelly Clarkson is tonight with Meshell, Katie, Heather, Chanti, and Heather A. and it will be rather fun and the Verizon Amphitheater! Fun Fun Fun....

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June 6th, 2006

Current Music: silencio Time: 10:14 am Current Mood: tired

3 weeks til Cabo and I can't wait. I wish we would all leave tomorrow for the wonderful beach town. It will hopefully go by faster. My little babooshka's birthday is tomorrow and I am so excited!!!! Love to all my mooshes!!!!

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May 23rd, 2006

Time: 10:18 am

School is coming to an end and as most young adults my age who are in finals I am very very very happy. I am excited for summer and all the things that come along with it. There is something about this season that seems very inviting. Maybe it is the warm sun, cute boys, white tanned skin, summer nights...drunken summer nights, etc. etc. etc. I want to work more this summer and try to volunteer for a good charity on the weekends- what charity I am not sure yet. Cabo is in almost one month and I am beyond excited. I need/want a vacation so bad. I think that it will be so much fun. Just four more weeks of working hard at work and it will pay off. The possibilities my friends are absolutely endless.... I will never lose hope... Everyone should be happy and smile because summer mis amigas is around the corner...ay ay ay ay!!!!!

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April 28th, 2006

Time: 03:47 pm

I am loving life right now! Knock on wood...I wouldn't want to jinx it! Love Love Love Hope peeps and I have a good weekend. One love people one love!

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April 17th, 2006

Current Music: clicking of my labtop keyboard Subject: loving life Time: 10:06 am Current Mood: optimistic

I saw a play with Meshell on Saturday that I found very interesting. It was called Timon of Athens and it was Shakespeare. It was in a modern/art inspired setting. The story was about how Timon let a lot of his Lord friends borrow money and when the bill collectors were coming after him his friends did not front the money. Although the meaning goes far more deeper than that I like to keep things as simple as possible. I am still a little foggy on a couple of parts of the play but I think that I got the jist of it. This weekend was a good weekend...real low key. Yesterday I spent with my mom which was much needed. Spent time with the fam. I had to finish my taxes so they can go out today. I drove to back to Irvine last night to finish my taxes but decided that I wanted to be with the family so I put the dog back into my car and headed back to Fullerton. My brother and father helped me with the taxes and hopefully I will get the hefty amount that put on the paper. I miss home and I miss my parents for the time being. I battled traffic this morning on my way to work and I asked myself if I could do this every morning. I probably could but do I want to...I am not sure. It would be weird to move back home but at the same time I would save a lot more. I don't know, who knows for that matter. I missed Sopranos and Grey's Anatomy last night and I can't wait to watch them tonight after class. This next month I have to work real hard for school. I will work my ass off for school!! I need to lose weight as well for CABO!!!! That I will do and I have about two months of hard working and then it will be summer and then CABO WABO!!!! It will all be worth it in the end. Have to start on my Social Problem Paper for Sociology this week. I love my family and friends so very much you guys have no idea.

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March 19th, 2006

Current Music: My Television...Surreal Life Subject: Love is a battlefield Time: 05:14 pm Current Mood: hopeful

Time goes by so fast. From the weekends to the weeks to the minutes to the hours. I am enjoying my time. I like the fact that the prgress is so fast but I wonder it will come to a hault one day. I can help but wonder if time evr slows down. Maybe it is because I am young and I am having so much fun. I have no clue but all that I can say now is that I have absolutely no complaints t anything at all. I mean There are some things that we would like to cahnge in our lives but for the most part everything is great. That is what I am scared of though..when things are going goodI have a feeling that something is bad and it is waiting around the corner. But I have to teach myself to not be so pesimistic when it comes to this situation. I am living life and I love it. So many events are coming up and I am so excited. The girls are excited as well and I can't wait to share some special moments with them. Cabo Tickets are in like two weeks and I am so beyond excited. Yay!!! Give it up for the good times.

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February 7th, 2006

Time: 11:37 am Current Mood: determined

There has been a lot going on in my mind right now and I am not sure what to make of it. I am down right now and I read Maggie's lj and she said something that I want to do...when things go wrong make a list of the things that have gone right. So I figured that I would take a shot at that and hopefully that can make me feel better. So here it goes: - I am doing well in school - I actually like school - I have a friend in one of my classes - Each weekend has been one exciting adventure after another (probably jinxed it) - I am having so much fun with my friends...the boys and girls Thanks maggie that helped a bit. Things always will get better...I am sure of it

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January 4th, 2006

Current Music: Television Subject: Sickity Sick No More! Time: 04:33 pm Current Mood: cheerful

Well since January 1st unfortunately I have been sick but I have made a decision that today will be the last day that I am sick. I have missed far too much work and I want to get back to my normal means of life. On the begining of December 31st I thought that it would be a shity night to the end of a almost shity year, but it proved me wrong because I had one of the funnest nights thus far in my life. Spending it with my girls was the best part. Recap: Downtown F-Town we walked the street, the matrix the girls, the goose and the beat, the 562 the last resort, tramping away on the trampaline, good convos that came unseen, so glad that we got the boot if you know what I mean,the flowing pit stop for B and K, Jordynn's street oh so sweet, teaching the cha-cha down the street, old friends reunited, random rides to dangerous places, back to the grado for familiar faces, the lights went out and once again who would have known, kt and I bounced to old sophomore territory and found ourselves upon sunrise at our house that is open 24 hours a day good old D-E-N-N-Y-S, then we went to sleep only to wake up with headaches and laughter. Felt like the rhyming/poetic mood. Not sure of what t

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November 24th, 2005

Current Music: Journey- Don't Stop Believing Time: 05:12 pm Current Mood: nostalgic

Today was a good day. I am so proud of my Brother who made the prime rib and managed to make the best meat that I have ever had. I made stuffing and although I did not like it at least I did not burn it. I am thankful for: - My family - my wonderful friends - being able to provide food before us - having a watm roof over my head - good health for both myself and my family - my dog nawnu - garlic mashed potaotes(awwwwwww) - having a job - having a car and the list can go on and on. Most of all I am thankful for being alive and being able to share the holidays and my whole life with my friends and family. Hope everyone had a good thanksgiving and I also hope that everyone has a fun and safe weekend. love ya GUNit!

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